“They haven’t dug the grave yet.”
Mom insisted on coming to the cemetery
after her best friend Dorothy’s viewing.
“The funeral’s not ’til 2 tomorrow,” I said.
“They’ll dig it in the morning.”
“They should have it dug,” she fussed.
Mom is a farm woman, used to death.
She turned ninety in the fall,
and Dorothy was her last good friend
in the tiny delta town where children leave
for jobs or school or just to escape the soy
and cotton. Her church has only twenty members
now — old women who show off corsages
on Mother’s Day and sometimes cajole their men
to come in overalls and slicked-back hair.
Dorothy and Mom taught Bible study, went to Eastern Star
and bingo, traded recipes and gossip.
Mom killed a rabid skunk in Dorothy’s yard
with the double barrel she keeps under the bed,
and Dorothy came to quilt on Wednesdays –
just the two of them since the other three passed on.
“Why’s it important to see the empty grave?” I asked.
“I need to know she’ll be comfortable,” Mom said.
“I know she’d do the same for me.”
– Sarah Russell
First published in On the Veranda
Loved the ending
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Thanks, Steve.
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A touching piece offering an insight into how our elders lived and with the last two lines showing true friendship. I felt as though this was written from the heart. Thank you for sharing this enjoyable read.
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Thank you, Julian.
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A gripping poem, Sarah. Thank you for sharing. The rabid skunk showed Mom’s determination and resourcefulness even before we got to the last line. Alarie
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Thanks, Alarie. She’s 94 now and still lives alone, much to our ongoing distress. When she got the call from Dorothy that the rabid skunk was in the front yard, she said she’d come over, but that she couldn’t stay because she had a cake in the oven…
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Oh my! A cake in the oven and a shotgun to kill skunks…she sounds a lot like my mom and grandmother were. Isn’t it good that we inherit those traits, even if we never let them out? I admire your mother for living alone. Let her keep her independence as long as you can. I ended up having to put my mother into a skilled nursing facility the last six months of her life. I often wonder if I made the right decision.
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Thanks, Toni. My next door neighbor’s kids are going through the nursing home move with their mom right now, and it’s hand-wringing time. I’ve vowed that “I’ll go quietly” when the time comes.
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Excuse me….I think you should reread your Yeats. Do not go gently etc. 🙂
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I think it was Dylan Thomas who wrote that. Nevertheless, there are many ways of checking out. I refuse to impede the next generation with my tantrums. I’ve had a wonderful life. I’ll let them have theirs without guilt.
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This is so moving, and I love the clear portrait you have painted of the two women and their wonderful lives. LOVE that your mom wanted to make sure Dorothy would be comfortable. I love this poem!
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Thanks so much, Sherry.
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WOW! That was very special.
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Thanks, ZQ. It’s a little more “narrative” than some I’ve done, but moments like that need to be recorded, I think.
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I guess in the end we need to know our friends will be in a place of rest.
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I think so too, Truedessa. Thanks for reading.
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this is filled with words of sweetness and love.
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Thank you, Beth. Your post today in the aftermath of Charlottesville, was perfect, BTW. LIke the song from South Pacific goes, “You Have to be Taught.”
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thank you, sarah. and you are right, you must be taught, very much like the song –
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Oh this reminds me of my mom….and that ending melted my heart!
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Thanks, Donna. I was touched by her concern as well. Thought it needed putting down.
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This is so incredibly poignant. As I’ve lost my treasured friends one by one, I can absolutely identify with your mother’s concern for her friend.
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Yes, Bev, I’m reaching that age too, and seeing women not a lot older than I am who are needing more help than their families can give. It gives me pause.
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A touching and wonderful narrative
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Thanks so much, Jae Rose.
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The atmosphere of a small town, the relationship between people left behind … life as it moves at a snails pace.. everything was before me as I too stood looking for the undug grave…
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Thanks so much, Rajani. Yes, it is a quiet life in a town where everyone knows everyone.
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I really liked reading of the relationship of “Mom” and “Dorothy.” This poem speaks of a wonderful, enduring, caring friendship. The details you included shows this friendship in life….and in death. It gave me a lump in my throat – REALLY good poetry!
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Thank you, Mary. Mom (actually my mother-in-law but very much like a mother to me) has lived in the same farmhouse in the same tiny town for over 70 years, so her friends really are lifelong friends. She is so reluctant to move for the care we all think she needs.
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This is so wonderfully sketched … the delicate touches of ‘humanness’ that you have imbued the piece with are truly lovely and so tenderly rendered. Brilliant writing!
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Thanks so much, Wendy.
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So very touching! I love every detail.
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Thanks a lot for stopping by, Rosemary.
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I appreciated seeing these scenes. Small towns are hard to leave.
I’m not sure my mum will end up leaving, but the comfort in the end is always cherished. Changes are often fearful.
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This is poignant and deeply moving. What strikes me most is her great concern for the friend’s forever resting place than her own grief and void.
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In honesty, Sumana, I think her “keeping busy” was a way of dealing with Dorothy’s death, but this was certainly an unexpected way for it to happen. She knew there would be plenty of time for mourning. She’s a “first things first” kind of person.
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Life-time friendships are so very precious, as was your exquisite poem, a true sensitive verse…..
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Thank you, Ivors.
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The ending is fantastic
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Thanks a lot, Suyash.
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Lovely!! 🙂
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Thank you, Nayana. And thanks for the “follow” too!
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Wonderful friendship, lovely poem.
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Thanks, Ayala. Yes, those friendships and then the emptiness where they were, are poignant. I think of Garth Brooks’ song The Dance.
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This is so beautiful as I am sure so many of us have had similar experiences or stories to tell of older relations and friends. What an outstanding poem this is.
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Thanks so much, Robin. Our turn next I guess…
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Such a beautiful and eloquent close to this.. sigh..
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Thanks, Sanaa. We should all have friends who care this deeply shouldn’t we.
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What a wonderful idea…it sounds reasonable to me. We would want her to be comfortable.
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I think so too. Thanks for stopping by.
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oh my. this is so touching. 😦
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Thank you, Rosema.
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Lovely reminder of my mother. Thank you for sharing.
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So glad you enjoyed it!
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Brava! Beautifully penned.
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Thank you very much, Eugenia.
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